Today, I made the hardest decision of my life. I decided I was going to retire. Throughout my career, I didn’t really spend that much time with my family. I knew I wasn’t going to stay on earth forever, so I wanted to take my wife and three kids to the family estate in Camnago to spend as much time with them as I could. So before we left to go to Camnago, I decided to just sit in the woods and relax because I was having second thoughts about retiring as a physicist because I loved it so much. When I started to relax I had a flash back. In 1775, I created my first experiment, the electrophorus. I couldn’t believe I did it and I loved the feeling of being the first one to invent something. So I wanted to stick with being a physicist. In 1776, I invented the electric pistol and in the same year, I discovered Methane. In 1773, I discovered the eudiometer and in 1790 I perfected it. In 1800, I invented my greatest experiment the Voltaic Pile, also called the battery. After I invented the battery, I got many awards from many people from many different countries. I thought to myself, my life really made a difference. After I woke up from my little nap, I realized how much I did for physics and I thought to myself, “Yes it’s definitely time to retire and spend time with my family.”

Today, when I was outside my house, my sister who I haven’t seen in 15 years stopped by. I was very surprised to see her because my whole family was very disappointed when I didn’t become a priest. My whole family was Roman Catholic and entered the religious life. I did not. When I decided to become a physist, my family hated that idea. So when I became one, I didn’t hear from my family because they were so mad at me. I asked why my sister came by and she said she just wanted to see how I was doing. I said I was doing very well. I told her I had invented so many things through electricity. I also told her I had gotten many awards. She said you got awards from whom? So I started my story. In 1793, the Royal Society awarded me the Copeley Medal. In 1801, Napoleon invited me to Paris to receive an award to become an associate member of the Institute de France and then later I became senator of the Kingdom of Italy. In 1809, I became Senator of the Realm and in 1810 I became senator of Count. Then in 1815, the Emperor of Austria appointed me director of the philosophical faculty of the University of Padua. I didn’t want to go on with my awards because I didn’t want my sister to think I was a snob. Therefore, I asked her how she was doing. She said little brother you never change, you always talk about yourself. I told her I’m not even done naming my awards and you were the one that asked me how I was doing.

Today, when I was walking, I met up with my old friend from college. He asked me how I was doing. It was great to see him and I was so eager to tell him about my latest invention, the electrophorus. So, I started talking to him about the electrophorus. I said it was a device based on static electricity. It consisted of a disc made of turpentine, resin, and wax which was rubbed to give it a negative charge. The top was a plate covered in tin foil and the lower piece was made by an insulated handle on to the disc. The disc induced a positive charge on the lower side of the foil. If the plate with a handle is placed over it, a positive electric charge is attracted to the lower surface, while a negative charge is repelled to the upper. The negative charge that was likewise induced on the upper surface was removed by touching it to ground the charge, leaving a positive charge on the foil. This process could then be repeated to build up a greater and greater charge. I realized from my electrostatic experiments that the quantity of charge produced is proportional to the product of its tension and the capacity of the conductor. Then, I asked him, “Do you want to come see the invention?” He said, “Of course, but who are you?” I asked, “Aren’t you Matthew Smith, the physist from college?” He said, “No, I have been an elementary school teacher since I was 19!”

Today, when I finally got my son to the table to start his homework, he said to me, “Dad, I need help with this. I am learning about capacity”. So, I was about to help him but then it brought me back to the time I was trying to explain how the apparatus worked. The way I explained how apparatus worked was by using the concept of capacity. I defined tension as the tendency of electricity to escape from an electrified body. I also had to introduce for the first time the relationship between two quantities and the amount of charge. I figured out that capacity is inversely proportional to the distance between the two armatures. I realized that if capacity touches the lower disc of the condenser electrometer with a charged body, while the upper one is earthed, the disc is able to receive a high electrical charge, because of the considerable capacity of the apparatus, even though the tension is low. When the charged body is removed, the capacity decreases and the tension increases. On March 4, 1782, how I explained capacity was read before the Royal Society. At the end of this, I explained to the equation charge, capacity and tension- Q= C x T- Then, I came back from my flash back and I looked down to the book and the equation he was working on was Q= C x T. So, I was going to explain to him how it worked, but then I found him fast asleep on the couch.

Today, I was playing catch with my son, Flamino. Unfortunately, Flamino couldn’t catch the ball and was getting very frustrated. He said he will never play baseball again because he couldn’t catch the ball. I told him he had to stay with it and if he didn’t he would never get better. Then, I explained to him that I had the same experience. It all started in 1791 when Galvani tried to figure out how electricity worked. Galvani thought he gotten some place with electricity. I knew I could build on his experiment and surpass it. So, I tried very hard putting elements and experiments together but for 9 years straight everything I did failed! I was about to give up because I was getting no place and I was getting very overwhelmed. I began to doubt myself and thought I couldn’t do anything anymore. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a physist because I thought I couldn’t discover anything new. Then one day, I experimented to see what happened if I piled up several pairs of silver and zinc discs, separated by cloth. I discovered that Galvani’s theory was wrong and went on to discover the first battery. After that, I became extremely popular and got many awards. Then I said, “See Flamino, if I didn’t stay with physics, I wouldn’t have become so famous!” It was then that I saw Flamino’s glove on the ground and realized he went inside to eat. Kids these days, they never understand.

Today, I was playing outside with my kids, and began to daydream thinking about my accomplishments. My first accomplishment was being the Director and Superintendant of the State School. In 1776, I was experimenting with many gases at the school. One day, I was experimenting with the mash gas which was found in Lago Maggiore. During that experimentation, I discovered methane. Methane is a major gas and an important discovery. I figued out that there was a direct correlation between the amount of decaying organic matter and the amount of flammable gas produced. I also figured out that methane can be used for electricity and many other things. When I discovered methane, I became very popular. Other people were very interested in what I did and supported me which is one of the reasons I became so successful. After, I discovered methane; I became very curious in what else I could discover. I was extremely eager in what else I could discover. After I came back from my flash back, I was extremely happy because I realized how much I have helped people. Then, I realized that my kids were missing. The first thing that came to my head was that it didn’t matter how good of a physicist I am, rather my wife is going to kill me for not watching my children!